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'Checkpoint' day
   A very big 'Checkpoint' day yesterday where a parent's possible terminal medical crisis involving my sisters (the older of whom is Glory-esque, I'm persuaded she maintains the appearance of sanity solely by draining brains) made me recognize, as I'd never realized previously, that I have the power in this balance -- something I've never wanted . . . but a huge responsibility had been placed on me & when I firmly insisted that the decision that would be taken in the crisis would be mine, no matter how much input I had, and that I'd bear whatever consequences came, the lid blew off & one sis simply instantly decided that I was intolerable, power-made & dangerous, and the other was only slightly less p.o.'d . . . but it was literally a life-and-death decision & it tipped the balance in favor of life when my siblings were prepared to see our mother go gentle into that good night. Some other collateral issues came along which brought home the same reality & and it was strange to be standing there in stylish-yet-affordable boots (well, not that stylish) coming to Buffy's 'Checkpoint' realization . . . and it was a bit alarming to see the all-too-typical response to death is submission rather than resistance, that it's more comfortable for people to cluster together in mutual helplessness before the inevitable rather than (shifting seasons & metaphors) heading back to the Vineyard to confront the scary villain (pain, suffering, inevitable defeat 'You can't win', etc.).  It also brought home why, vis-a-vis gab's post, why Buffy gets grief from fans -- it's all very pleasant when Buffy is slaying vamps & reversing certain bits of old stereotypes, but when the fundamental wisewoman-gathering-all-protectively-round-the-hearth stereotype is struck down, that's altogether dicier . . .   



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I like what you've written here very much, though I have sadly little to add.

I'm sorry your mom may be losing her mother . . . and that your grandmother had to move into a retirement home.

Thanks very much. I think that my grandmother is fairly stable. She has Parkinson's and some dementia, which is not terrible when she takes her medication at the proper time; left to her own devices, she will forget once, and then lose all track of time and be overwhelmed by hallucinations. I don't think she likes being in a home per se, but I don't think anyone is in a position to be on hand at any point during the day or night and this is what she needs. I'm not sure that my mom will be losing her mother any time soon...but it's hard to say, and depends on how soon is "soon".

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